Saturday, March 7, 2009

Fifty Ways to Annoy Chad!! Now we all know I need a Life.

They came to me while being grounded from here. Yes, here. Shocking, isn't it? It also made me realize just how desperately I need a life. AND an iPod!! But anyway, brought to you by yours truly, fifty ways to annoy Chad!! Hopefully if Ali decides she's bored it doesn't become a "That's what she said" moment.

1. Ask him how his date with Alex went the other night. Pester him until he says "good", or anything better than good. ;D

2. Ask him when Alex's due date is.

3. Force-feed him thirteen extra-large pieces of fruit pizza. He dislikes it.

4. Steal his planner and name it "Purple"

5. When he attempts to snatch Purple back, scream rape. Or child abuse.

6. If he manages to steal Purple back, say "You made emo Barbie sad!" and take out a black-clad Barbie, start trying to steal its wrists with a pencil.

7. The next day, leave the doll (covered in red paint along the neck/wrists) on his desk, along with a suicide note claiming that Adam and Grant are Chad's biological parents.

8. If he does not wrench Purple from your grasp, tell him he will only get Purple back if he gets down on one knee, tells Alex he loves him and proposes.

9. When he eventually agrees, videotape it.

10. Every time Chad and Alex are near each other, begin singing various random love songs (Personal favorite: The Pina Colada Song)

11. Make a shelf fall on him in Wal-Mart

12. Go to his football/basketball/anything else he plays games and start shouting "POWER RANGERS!! Go go!!" and running around the floor/field.

13. When you steal Alex's belongings (in the upcoming fifty ways to annoy Alex), put them in a bag and place them on Chad's doorstep

14. Put a Valentine's Day card (print one out if it's not the right time of year) and address it "With love, from [anyone's name]". Doubtless he will be o_0.

15. Introduce him to Chad the planner.

16. Scream "FIFTEEN-SIDED LOVE POLYGON!!!" whenever he sits down to the lunch table.

17. Laugh uncontrollably at his inevitable death by Germ-X.

18. Make him google "Yaoi". Trauma, certainly.

19. The next day, put Yaoi fanarts in his locker. Make sure there's enough so that when he opens it they scatter all over the floor.

20. Tell Ryan and Brian to go check the mess out.

21. When they chew him out for it, shout "Oh! Says those who had a threesome with him in the kitchen yesterday!!" (so everyone in the entire bulding can hear you)

22. Randomly fall down the steps into him... And any additional people if needed.

23. Sit outside his bathroom door with a tape recorder whilst he is taking a shower. Or bath. how should I know?

24. Whenever he comes out blindfold yourself and wants to know what the Fai is going on, answer that you were trying to record him singing in the shower.

25. Kidnap him to go to an anime con in the epic KITTYMOBILE!!!

26. While in the Kittymobile, make hm listen to Hanson, Cinema Bizarre, anything else I like...

27. Stab him with a pair of hair sticks.

28. Introduce him to Cassie, pretend to drop something, and tie their shoelaces together. (Tie Chad's shoelace to Cassie's ankle if all else fails.)

29. Use Chad as a human meatshield when Cassie comes after you with a chainsaw for that.

30. Ask Chad for help finding twenty more ways to annoy him.

31. Draw "MISSING" flyers for Chad and Alex's adopted son, Chalex.

32. Run up to him in a vacant lot, scream "CHIPOTLE SAUCE!!!!!" and run off.

33. Attempt to take a nap in his hair (Ahem, ALI.)

34. Ducttape him to Michael Jackson's backseat.

35. Stare at him in class, and when he confronts you, reply "You have prettiful eyes!" in some weird odd voice and then walk off to kill Gary for some random stupid thing. Like cheating on Cody with Whiskers. *shudders*

36. Stuff Gary's dead body into Chad's backpack.

37. Draw Chad as a gothic lolita on teh chalkboard.

38. Attempt giving him the "birds and the bees" talk.

39. Scream "CHAD HAS ALEX AND HIS MUFFINS!!! HE WILL PAY!!!" And start whacking him with a plastic ninja sword.

40. Dress him up as a clown.

41. Hide in his closet and glomp him when he opens it! He hates it when you do that.

42. Ask "If you're a pimp, Chad, who are your hoes?" with a clear answer in mind.

43. Have Whitney tell him to hug an apple. EVERY. FLACKIN'. MINUTE.

44. Have my mother beat him up with a wooden spoon for no good reason.

45. Draw a picture of yourself on his back in permanent marker. And re-draw it when it starts to fade.

46. Ask him if he really thinks man-boobs are sexy, or if he only has that shirt to make himself feel better.

47. Have you stalker sidekick follow him around whilst you are busy stalking his best friend.

48. At one of his games, put a plushie apple in his stuff, along with a card asking him to marry you (don't sign it, moron!).

49. When he asks who it's from, suggest the aforementioned Michael Jackson, or Barney.

50. Check the last way to annoy Chad off your list in satisfaction as you watch Alex attempt to beat him up for cheating on him with Michael Jackson/Barney. (possessive uke!) Oh, and for extra annoyance get yourself involved in the action... Eheheh.

1 little-thingies-not-sure-what-they-are:

Grape Jelly Murderer said...

lmao. I like the emo barbie and the Chipotle sauce ones... And the Yaoi fanart... And the one with the "ian" three-some... They were all pretty freakin' awesome. :) Tell everyone you know to read this post. (can't wait to see the Alex one.) 8D

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